What?

The English language is confusing, plain and simple. Words mean not what they mean from one context to another. What? Exactly.

The word "what" is a four letter word of Germanic origin, first coined c.1300. Without adding any prefixes or suffixes, "what" is a pronoun (interrogative and personal), an adjective, a conjunction, an exclamation, and a name (he plays second). Could you imagine learning English for the first time and trying to figure out the meaning of "what" only to discover nine definitions and eleven common phrases in the Oxford English Dictionary? It would be confusing beyond belief (this coming from the guy who took Ancient Greek where there's a word that means both "apple" and "sheep" depending on the context)!

Given the versatility of the word "what" and my gravitation toward writing blogs titled with exclamations (See: You're Welcome!, I'm Extremely Sorry!, and Bless You!), I couldn't resist the opportunity to have a little bit of fun with "what."

William: Hey, man! What's up?

Walter: What'd you say?

William: I just asked what's up.

Walter: Well, I had somewhat of a lousy day. I got called into the bosses office.

William: What for? 

Walter: What does it matter?

William: What?! Man, we're friends! I want to help.

Walter: Yeah... whatever. He fired me, okay?

William: Ah, man. What a way to end the week. And with what little time you had before retirement, too.

Walter: It is what it is, but what really hurt was the fact that he didn't even seem that sad about it. 

William: So what? Maybe he was having a rough day, too. Remember what a fan he was of your work earlier this year? This decision to fire you probably came from the higher-ups.

Walter: No, no. At our company, the boss decides what's what. 

William: What about corporate? Surely they could've made the call.

Walter: What if they did? I still got fired. What's more, with the job market being what it is, I won't be able to find a new job for a while.

William: I'll tell you what-- I've been in the mood to try that new steak restaurant in town and what you need is to have something brighten your day, what with this news and all. What say we go there for dinner?

Walter: Well, I have to get home. I have to clean up, tell my wife the bad news, and what not. 

William: Alright, how about I meet you there? See you, what, about 6:00?

Walter: I don't know... what's the price tag for a plate at one of those places? 

William: Don't worry about it. My treat. Do what you need to do at home and then meet me there. Remember what fun it was when we used to go out every night? Remember that little BBQ restaurant?

Walter: Yeah, what a place. And then we'd go over to your house and watch some sitcom or movie or what have you.

William: So, what of tonight?

Walter: Ah, what the heck. Sure.

William: Man! Yes! Are you pumped, or what?

Walter: Yeah. Just send me what restaurant and I'll meet you there.